


delirium

by Platinumroyal



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Sickfic, how do i stop writing shumika fluff, takes place right after teddy bear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 16:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16520036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Platinumroyal/pseuds/Platinumroyal
Summary: If there was one thing he had learned since entering this accursed Yumenosaki Academy, it was that nothing would ever go exactly the way he wanted it to.//





	delirium

It's hard to say whose fault this was, from the start.

Was it Kagehira's—for being so foolish, so naïve to think that he could survive a few days outside in the late November chill, with only a blanket to keep him through the night? For assuming that a simple blunder of his would be the final straw, that there was nothing left for him to do but run away and never come back, lest he face disappointment (or even worse, abandonment)? For being a useless doll, whose marionette strings were always tangled and half-broken?

Or, perhaps, was it his own fault? Had he engendered such a fear within his most precious companion, that the thought of fleeing was more tolerable to Kagehira than owning up to his mistakes? Or was it the latent anxiety within himself, that Kagehira would use this as an opportunity to escape, to take flight with his clipped wings from the birdcage he had been trapped within? That he had not made more of an effort to lead him back home, and instead kept himself holed up with his worries?

The more he thinks it over, the more it makes him feel sick. So, as hard as it might be, he pushes his looming thoughts to the outskirts of his mind.

(His head is ill enough as it is.)

Regardless of what set off this mess, there was still the situation at hand to be dealt with. Sitting and mulling it over would not help Kagehira fight this off.

Kagehira had been reluctant, initially, to pay a visit to the doctor. He insisted that he could overcome whatever was ailing him with just some rest, and nothing more. That he had caused enough trouble as it was, and he didn’t want to waste time and effort in seeing someone. Shu suspected that Kagehira had always been like this, just based on his childhood life and his avoidant personality. But despite all his protests, Shu had dragged him down to the local clinic. There was no way that he would allow one of his creations to remain ill for a second longer than necessary. Of course, Kagehira and doctors' offices did not mix very well, and he had to endure his incessant babbling and worrying and coughing for a solid hour, but it had to be done.

Lo and behold, their doctor visit had paid off in the end. As it turned out, Kagehira had not fallen ill with something as simple as a cold. He had a sinus infection, and the buildup of mucus and bacteria in the back of his throat was starting to pose the threat of him developing strep, as well. Kagehira had paled immediately at the diagnosis, perhaps at the thought of him being out of commission for a solid week. He was prescribed antibiotics, told to drink plenty of fluids, and get some rest.

And that was that.

It had been a few days since then. The antibiotics were certainly helping, but Kagehira was still plagued by exhaustion and headaches and all the usual symptoms, and so Shu had confined him to bed for the weekend. It was on that cold Saturday morning, right at the beginning of December, that Shu finally took a hard look at his planner. While he couldn’t be angry with Kagehira for falling ill—and the whole situation was set off by a myriad of causes, so he couldn’t pin any of that on him either—there was still a mild frustration that began to build within him. There was no way Kagehira would be well enough to practice anytime soon; not until another couple of days and a follow-up visit to the doctor came to pass. He had wanted to start preparing for the Eve of Eve live, even though it was not occurring for a few more weeks, as it would be one of their first major public appearances in a while. In an ideal world, he would have already been choreographing a routine and starting to design their outfits, but there was not much he could do while he was stuck tending to Kagehira in bed. If there was one thing he had learned since entering this accursed Yumenosaki Academy, it was that nothing would ever go exactly the way he wanted it to. At this rate, he would be forced to cancel, especially with the possibility of Kagehira still being sick far into the next week.

It was a shame, but there was nothing else to be done. Shu calls up the local organization that is responsible for the live, briskly explains the situation, and somehow gets himself roped into finding a replacement for Valkyrie. No matter, he has companions he can ask for favors. In fact, he had overheard Morisawa chattering about work in class the other day. Perhaps he would call up Kanata…

In the middle of dialing Kanata (and fulling expecting not to receive any response), Shu is interrupted by the shuffle of heavy feet and dragging blankets from behind. Kagehira is trembling slightly, still cocooned in several thick blankets, his hair mussed and his pallor sickly.

"Why are you out of bed?" Shu sets his phone down, and strides up to the coughing bundle of blankets that stands before him. "I told you to lie down. Did you not hear me properly?"

Kagehira looks down at the floor, and draws one of the blankets closer, wearing it over his shoulders like a cape. He doesn’t say anything. Shu takes a deep breath, and tries to soften himself.

"…Is something the matter? I would have been back in a few minutes, you know," he presses his palm onto Kagehira's forehead, pushing up his thick bangs. "Shall I take your temperature again?"

His head shakes under his palm. "Nnah," he croaks out, followed by a violent cough. "Jus'… I heard ya on the phone, an'…"

Ah. He didn’t exactly want Kagehira to overhear that conversation. It would have been much better for him to break the news once he had fully recovered, but yet again, nothing went as planned. Shu exhales, and rests his hand on Kagehira's shoulder.

"Come now, back to bed," he pushes gently, hoping that Kagehira is just delirious enough to blindly follow his directions. Well, Kagehira tends to do that regardless of his health, so… "I'll explain it to you, but not until you lie back down."

His charge nods, and drags his feet all the way back to his bedroom. Shu peels back each layer of blanket that Kagehira has nested himself in, collecting them in his arms, and pats the mattress, waiting for him to slide back into bed. Once Kagehira is in one spot, he drapes each blanket over him again, one at a time, and ensures that he is tucked in properly.

"Aah, Oshi-san," Kagehira blinks up at him, eyes clouded with exhaustion. "My stuff'animals…"

There is a veritable mountain of stuffed animals at the foot of his bed, all different shapes and sizes, but each dressed up in some outfit or another. They must have rolled off the bed, one by one, either in Kagehira's tossing and turning, or maybe as he got out of bed. Shu doesn’t fancy himself becoming a parent someday, but this certainly is practice for if that day somehow comes. He scoops them up, and handful at a time, and distributes them by Kagehira's feet. When he grabs the patchwork rabbit, Kagehira flops his arm out from under the covers, reaching weakly for it.

"Can I 'ave that one?" he stretches his fingers out, as if that will magically snap the stuffed animal into his hand. Shu hands it to him, and he snakes his arm around it and presses it into his face.

He sits down on the bed, and hesitantly sets his hand on Kagehira's side. Nothing drastic happens, so he pushes himself a bit further and begins to drag his fingertips in circular motions. Kagehira presses his eyes shut.

"As you probably heard," he begins, quietly. It would be nice if Kagehira would drift off to sleep, just by listening to him speak, but that was definitely wishful thinking (and almost beyond the scope of his imagination). "I called off the Eve of Eve live. We simply do not have enough time to adequately prepare." Of course, both of them knew that 'adequately' was more akin to 'perfectly' in Shu's lexicon.

"Nnnn…" Kagehira whimpers slightly, nuzzling his face deeper into his pillow. "'S all my fault. I always mess everythin' up."

"Absolutely not," he tries to be firm without being harsh. It's not easy for him. "Right now, your sole responsibility is to recover. I would not—"  _ever put you through that_ , "I would not allow you to appear on stage without knowing everything was in line. Do not toil over this, Kagehira. Our ship has not capsized yet."

He doesn’t say anything.

"Do you understand?"

"Mmhmm," he murmurs, and starts to cough again. Somehow, Shu finds his hand drifting down to his back, patting gently. His brain must have briefly lost connection to his nervous system, because before he realizes it, his motions have turned into light scratches. Kagehira makes a noise, caught slightly in the back of his irritated throat. A strange feeling is starting to boil in Shu's stomach, a strange concoction of nervousness and trepidation, and so he pulls his hand away, lingers for a moment, and stands up.

"I'll fetch you some more water," he glances up at the clock. "And perhaps some soup, as well. You need to keep eating, after all."

He makes his way to leave, but the back of his sweater is caught by something. Turning around, he realizes that Kagehira has thrown his arm out again, this time latching onto him for dear life.

"Don' leave," he croaks out, his eyes cracked open just a sliver. "Please?"

"I will only be gone a few minutes, I assure you." He cannot believe it, but something besides Kagehira's grip is tethering him to the room.

"…Y' promise?"

"Of course. I will return as soon as I can." Kagehira nods at that, and slumps back down onto the mattress. Shu makes his escape before something inside him truly sways.

While in the kitchen, he sets a pot on the stove, cuts up some vegetables, and starts to boil a chicken stock. He knows that Kagehira is going to put up a fight, as he doesn’t like to eat much to begin with, but he needed to eat. The pitcher of icewater he had set in the fridge is still cold, and so he takes it out and hastens back to the bedroom. He had to deliver on his promise, after all.

Kagehira stirs as soon as the door swings open, sliding himself up to rest against the headboard. "Y'came back…?"

"I said I would, didn’t I?" the ice clinks as the water flows into the glass on his nightstand. "Here, you need to drink."

His head lolls slightly to the side, still leaning on the headboard behind him, as Shu sits himself down with the glass of water. Kagehira makes no movements to take the glass from him, though, and Shu resides himself to what he knows is coming next.

"Open your mouth."

Kagehira stares at him, mystified, and then flushes deeply, despite his pallor. It must have been the fever.

(That's what he convinces himself, at least.)

But Kagehira has always been a good doll, even with all the times his strings become tangled and his mistakes pile on. And so, naturally, he complies, parting his lips slightly as Shu raises the glass to his mouth. Shu uses his other hand to cup the side of his face, holding him still, and tilts the glass forward.

It goes fairly well, all things considered. Kagehira is cognizant enough to swallow as the water slides down his throat, but some of it does drip out of the corner of his mouth. Once the glass has been half-emptied, Shu sets it back down, and grabs a tissue to wipe off the excess.

Kagehira is still beet red.

"There we are," Shu wipes his hands on his lap. "You need to stay hydrated."

He goes to make his way off the bed once again, and Kagehira catches his hand this time.

"Oshi-saaaaan," he drawls, sliding back down under the covers. His hair has gotten even more mussed up. "Don' go…"

He should have known this would happen. "…Alright, I will stay with you. But I have your lunch on the stove, so not for long."

That seems to satisfy Kagehira enough, and Shu sets himself down on the bed. His hand is guided right back to the spot it was in before.  _Well, I suppose this is a form of maintenance for him, in a way._

Everything is quiet, for a few minutes, as Shu resumes scratching his back lightly. He moves his hand up to rest between his shoulder blades now, and he feels the muscles loosen under his fingertips. It was almost therapeutic for him, in some strange way.

The silence is broken as Kagehira breaks out into a coughing fit, convulsing and messing up the blankets. Before Shu has a chance to say anything, Kagehira beats him to it.

"Oshi-san," he says weakly. "'M sorry. Didn' mean t'get sick. Y'must be real mad, right…?"

"Where do you get these ideas from? If anything, I feel badly that you must suffer like this, you know."

"Really?" Mismatched eyes blink up at him. "But, you're wastin' all this time puttin' up with me, an'—"

"Once again," he moves his hand lower down his back. "Please cease your worrying. If, by some disaster, Mademoiselle suffered an injury, do you think I would ignore her and let her be?"

"O'course not, Oshi-san. She's Madonee."

That wasn’t exactly the answer he wanted, but he can work with it. "Yes, because she is Mademoiselle, I would go out of my way to repair her. She is invaluable, after all."

"Yeah."

"So, by that measure, why would I ever leave you alone in this state? Do you truly believe that I would abandon you, in a time of need?"

There is a long pause; Shu attributes it to the sickness addling his brain.

"Nnnah, I guess not…?"

"And why do you suppose that is?"

"Because…"  _put two and two together already, you idiot_. "I'm special?"

There it is. "Correct. I would be remiss to let one of my precious creations linger in such an awful state, without any sort of care. Or do you find me to be a crueler person than that?"

"Never, Oshi-san, not at all," he croaks out, too fast, which causes another cough to rattle his body. Shu switches back to patting him.

"Then let me care for you."

As the words linger in the air, it begins to settle in with Shu, what he has just said. Of course, all of it was true, but there was a degree of commitment he has just made by putting it out into the ether. Neither of them says anything, for a while after that.

Minutes pass, and finally Kagehira's breathing slows down, as sleep begins to take him. It is fortunate timing, as the soup is well in need of being checked. As delicately as he can, Shu draws his hand away from where it had been resting on his back, and pushes himself up off the mattress. Just as he is about to shut the door to Kagehira's bedroom, he is caught for a third time.

"Oshi-san?"

_You're supposed to be asleep, you know_. "Yes, Kagehira?"

"I love you."

His heart nearly jumps out of his chest. He doesn’t dare turn around, out of some primal fear that the last half hour has been nothing more than an illusion, ready to dispel at any moment. Kagehira must be delirious. There is no other logical explanation for what has just happened.

"Stay with me, forever?"

The mirage thickens. Perhaps the antibiotics weren’t working properly, and now he has caught the strep as well.

"...Goodnight, Kagehira."

He shuts the door behind him, and prays that Kagehira will not remember any of this once his fever fades.

* * *

 

Within the following week, everything is relatively back to normal. Shu pays Kanata a visit at the fountain—and tries to convince him to get out of the freezing water, lest he fall ill as well—and the Eve of Eve live is secured in Ryuseitai's hands.

When he returns to the doctor with Kagehira, extra antibiotics in tow, it seems like everything is cleared. Kagehira is back to his normal self, and neither of them make mention of what was said. For all intents and purposes, Kagehira was asleep the whole time.

The doctor is puzzled, though, when Kagehira hands her the leftover medicine. She looks up from her chart, and asks how many days it's been since he stopped taking them ("Three," Shu answers for him). She sets down her clipboard, looks Shu straight in the eyes, and tells him that Kagehira needed to finish off all the antibiotics, and that he had probably been contagious the last few days of not taking them.

Shu's head begins to hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, i cant stop writing shumika fluff! please help me! i have important work to do!
> 
> find me @harmonyleaf on twitter, as always!


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